TALE OF THE TAPE

One Broken Arm Later: Nate Burleson’s Pizza Vs. DiGiorno (It’s Not Delivery)

Nate Burleson's Pizza
DiGiorno
natecredit1.jpg
digiornocredit1.jpg
Delivery?
Winner Probably not. Unless he was the one delivering it. In which case, his agent’s gotta get him a new contract.
Not...sure. If only there was some resource to tell us whether or not DiGiorno was delivered or not.
Level of Risk?
One would assume “low”, but, well, here we are.
Winner Low.
Worst Risk of Injury?
Winner Burned tongue; crippling diarrhea
An arm shattered in two places, apparently.
Ready for action after consumption?
November, best case scenario
Winner The next day, unless he went heavy on the red pepper flakes.
Conspiracy Theory Moment?
Winner MAYbe...he got the pizza from an establishment owned by a Packers fan!
Winner MAYbe...it actually IS delivery! Wait, who cares?
Worth crashing a car over?
Winner Depends. Was it meat lovers?
Heavens, I can’t imagine.

The Winner Is

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Winner Nate Burleson's Pizza
4 out of 6

With a score of 4-3, Nate Burleson’s fracture pizza somehow takes the edge! Looks like you party people had better stick to Elio’s.

-Brian Cullen, CBS Local Sports contributor

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