In this week’s That Thing You Missed, must-see video of NFL fans pretending to know what they’re talking about. Watch a man get fresh on the Jumbotron, an alligator raids a PGA tournament, a basketball prodigy and the least surprising story this week? A hockey player is rude to a woman.
Feeling A Draft?
You all know I’m a football freak. But what you probably don’t realize is that I work right across the street from Radio City Music Hall. So for three days in April my turf is not only overrun with Midwest tourists — we are tackled by football fans desperate to get their fat fingers on ducats to the NFL Draft.
And look, I love rabid football fans. I’m one of ‘em. I don’t mind their unencumbered enthusiasm. Frankly, I prefer them to fanny-pack wearing folks from Nebraska. But it does piss me off when they act as if they know more than I do just because they paint their face, wear silly hats and take vacation days every year to wait on long lines in Rockefeller Center as if it was Mecca.
Because they can dress all a fool – but that doesn’t mean they have a clue what the hell they’re talking about.
And this video is my case and point.
By the way, I’m so glad my Saints didn’t take Buster Hymen in the first round.
What A Boob
Typically at baseball games the announcer’s job is to talk about the action on the field and they’re rarely at a loss of words.
These guys, however, caught a fan getting to second base and were rendered speechless.
Meet Seventh Woods. He can’t drink alcohol. He can’t drive. He doesn’t even have a learner’s permit.
This is his basketball highlight reel from his freshman year. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He’s only 14 years old.
Can you say slam dunk?
As if sand and water aren’t already enough trouble for golfers — let me introduce you to a new hazard – the reptile.
This three-legged gator disrupted play on the 14th fairway during the opening round of the Zurich Classic on Thursday.
Perhaps it finally just wants royalties for all those years spent on golfer’s shirts.
Personally, I like to imagine he was looking for a Tiger.
Shut The Puck Up!
So the Blackhawks are currently the Yankees of the NHL – they don’t lose very often and can’t handle it when they do.
So when the Blackhawks lost this week 3-1 in Vancouver did defensemen Duncan Keith admit he had a bad game? Nah, he took it out on a female reporter Karen Thompson.
Thomson: “It looked like maybe there was a penalty that went undetected. You seemed a bit frustrated.”
Keith: “Oh, no. I don’t think there was anything. I think he scored a nice goal. The ref was right there. That’s what the ref saw. We should get you as a ref maybe, eh?”
Thomson: “Yeah, maybe.” Keith: The first female … ”
Thomson: “I can’t skate, though.”
Keith: “The first female referee. You can’t play probably either, right? But you’re thinking the game like you know it? Okay, see ya.”
Duncan was criticized in the press for his comments. Duncan didn’t apologize – but he said you can call him a sore loser – but don’t call him disrespectful.
I’d call him a jerk.
I’d also call him a misogynist, but he doesn’t have enough teeth to pronounce it or brain cells to understand it.
Full Audio Here:
Check out my other columns here.
I want to hear from you! Got a fun story sports fans may have missed? Or an obscure, silly and perhaps gossipy tale we didn’t cover? E-mail Tara Lipinsky at firstname.lastname@example.org or send me a Tweet @TaraLipinsky.