TALE OF THE TAPE

Which Is More Satisfying On Thanksgiving Day? NFL Football Vs. Thanksgiving Pie

Thanksgiving week! We hope you’re all enjoying a week of calm, measured discussions with your family, a nostalgic visit to your depressing hometown, and a good, long conversation with the guy from high school who still works at the Stop ‘n Shop.

When you’re not enjoying that, surely you’re taking part in all of the wonderful traditions of Thanksgiving, like turkey, stuffing, and every last drop of alcohol in your house. But of these, there are two that stand out from the pack – football, and pie. Which of these traditions takes a top spot in our hearts? Let’s go to the tape.

NFL Football
Thanksgiving Pie
(credit: Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)
A holiday tradition of pumpkin pies are sliced. (credit: FREDERIC J. BROWN/AFP/Getty Images)
(credit: Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)
A holiday tradition of pumpkin pies are sliced. (credit: FREDERIC J. BROWN/AFP/Getty Images)
Taste
…pain? Does football taste like pain? Let’s go with that.
Winner Sweet and crusty (which, incidentally was my nickname in high school). Even better with whipped cream!
Able To Be Enjoyed At 1 PM?
Winner Yep! The games start rolling at 12:30 PM EST.
Nope. You’ll get your hand slapped. Pie is for AFTER turkey, dummy!
How Quickly Does It Make Your Uncle Fall Asleep?
Winner It takes mere nanoseconds.
Winner Instantaneously.
Able To Win You Money (If Gambling Wasn’t Frowned Upon)?
Winner Yep!...hypothetically.
If that becomes a thing, I don’t want to know the unpleasant future where people gamble on pie.
Causes Instant Shame and Regret?
Winner nnnnNNNNOPE!
Every time.

The Winner Is

(credit: Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)
Winner NFL Football
4 out of 5

There you have it. With a score of 4-2, football remains the Thanksgiving champion we all deserve.
-Brian Cullen, CBS Local Sports contributor

MORE TALES OF THE TAPE

  1. (Photo by Justin Edmonds/Getty Images) (Photo by John Grieshop/Getty Images)
    Tale Of The Tape: Denver Broncos At Cincinnati Bengals

    Peyton Manning took a big shot to his upper leg in the Broncos’ Week 16 victory over the Chargers and had to come out of the game, but he came back and performed adequately.

  2. (Photo by Peter Aiken/Getty Images) (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)
    Tale Of The Tape: Seattle Seahawks At Arizona Cardinals

    The Seahawks are streaking at the right time of the year and they appear to have gotten a big break since the Cardinals are down to their third- and fourth-string quarterbacks.

  3. (Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images) (Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)
    Tale Of The Tape: Indianapolis Colts At Dallas Cowboys

    The Colts had no difficulty clinching the AFC South title despite starting the season with consecutive losses, and they have lofty goals ahead.

See All Tales of the Tape
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,211 other followers