TALE OF THE TAPE

Tale Of Two Teams: The Fantasy Football Legend Vs. The Fantasy Football Basement Dweller

Fantasy Football can be, well, a nightmare. Players turn out to be total flops, coaches bench your starting QB, and everyones ribs are broken by Week 14. With Fantasy Football playoffs underway this week, we’ve pitted the #1 seed and the #Last seed against each other since, let’s face it, they should duke it out anyway. A girl can dream…

First Place Fantasy Team
Last Place Fantasy Team
St. Louis Rams v Dallas Cowboys
AFC Championship - Baltimore Ravens v New England Patriots
Team Name
Winner The [r]Ed Hochuli Peppers (ECHP)
Joe Buck Yourself
#1 Draft Pick
DeMarco Murray
Winner Tom Brady
DRAFT DAY PREDICTION
Winner "I can see, in ten years, Coach Harbaugh and Alex Smith still working together like the old married couple they really are. He'll coach 5 rings out of him. Together forever."
"There's no way Arian Foster is playing this year. When you're that big, rehabbing a torn hamstring is like trying to turn a pile of pulled pork into a pig again."
OVERALL RECORD GOING INTO WEEK 14
Winner 10-2
2-10
SEASON HIGHLIGHT
Beating team "Your Mom" 144-28 because someone forgot to wake up before 10am PST to set their team thanks to a hangover.
Winner Coming up with the idea to use Robert Griffin's head as the star of the family Christmas tree thereby referring to it for the season as "RG-Tree."
SEASON LOWLIGHT
Losing to "[team]" the same week the office floods from Hurricane Sandy. When it rains, it pours...into your basement and corporate server room.
Winner Trading Tom Brady (based on the fact that he's an UGGS spokesperson and model) for "literally anyone," and playing Mark "Butt Tackle" Sanchez instead.
BEST SMACK TALK
Winner "Seriously, John, if you don't pay the entry fee AND I beat you, I get your girlfriend. I already talked to her and she's fine and encouraging it."
"Me : You :: Best Thing Ever : Worst Thing Ever"
WEEKLY EXCUSE
"I'm not bragging, but obviously I could manage a real NFL team. I'm literally the most talented athlete I know and that's reinforced by my record. You can't argue with numbers."
Winner "DeMarco Murray's foot is my Achilles heel. I knew I should've traded for the Muscle Hamster. How's someone supposed to count on Felix Jones?!"

MORE TALES OF THE TAPE

  1. INDIANAPOLIS, IN - NOVEMBER 16: Head coach Bill Belichick of the New England Patriots looks on before playing agains the Indianapolis Colts at Lucas Oil Stadium on November 16, 2014 in Indianapolis, Indiana. GLASGOW, UNITED KINGDOM - FEBRUARY 05: A croupier spins a roulette wheel at the new luxury casino, which opens tomorrow, on February 5, 2008 in Glasgow, Scotland. This 25m GPB venue, named Alea, opens on the Clyde at Springfield Quay near the city centre and is Scotland's first luxury casino, dining and live music venue.
    Bigger Gamble, Guessing Pats’ Running Back Or Hitting Roulette Number?

    Guessing Bill Belichick’s running back is near impossible, but how does the gamble compare to Roulette, another game of chance?

  2. (Photo by Patrick Smith/Getty Images) (Photo by Stacy Revere/Getty Images)
    Tale Of The Tape: Baltimore Ravens At New Orleans Saints

    The Ravens are dependent on Joe Flacco to play his best football down the stretch if they are going to make a run at the AFC North title. Flacco is certainly capable of getting hot and putting big numbers up on the scoreboard.

  3. (Photo by Alan Crowhurst/Getty Images) (Photo by Michael Heiman/Getty Images)
    Tale Of The Tape: Dallas Cowboys At New York Giants

    The Cowboys have been one of the bigger surprises in the league this year, but their sharp start could go to waste if they can’t come through in games like this.

See All Tales of the Tape
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