Tale of the Tape: Football vs. Fútbol

  • The Ball
    It's unpredictable, has laces, and it's made from the hide of a cow. Plus, it's so much fun to watch 300+ pound men try to dive on it when it's dropped.
    It's come a long way from the old two tone ball of the past. Now the balls have names like Jabulani or Brazuca and they are beautifully re-designed for every major tournament.
  • Players
    Football players come in all shapes and sizes. Fat, tall, athletic, stocky, short, and even Peyton Manning.
    Height doesn't matter, you just have to look like a stick. BMI's over 8% are not allowed.
  • Scoring System
    7 points for a touchdown, 3 for a field goal, 2 for a safety.
    Goals are all worth 1. Even when you score them on yourself.
  • Passion
    Grown men wear jerseys and are often caught crying when their team loses.
    Calling it a religion is not fair to religions. Fútbol fans live and die on every kick.
  • Gameplay
    Plays are short, but they move fast and they hit hard.
    It's not called the beautiful game for nothing. The two 45 minute halves will not be interrupted by anything, especially not commercials.
We all enjoy the Fútbol once every four years, but come on, Americans are in love with Football. It's really not even a contest.

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