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Tale of the Tape: Football vs. Fútbol

St. Louis Rams Training Camp
Guangzhou Evergrande FC v Bayern Muenchen - FIFA Club World Cup Semi Final
The Ball
Winner It's unpredictable, has laces, and it's made from the hide of a cow. Plus, it's so much fun to watch 300+ pound men try to dive on it when it's dropped.
It's come a long way from the old two tone ball of the past. Now the balls have names like Jabulani or Brazuca and they are beautifully re-designed for every major tournament.
Winner Football players come in all shapes and sizes. Fat, tall, athletic, stocky, short, and even Peyton Manning.
Height doesn't matter, you just have to look like a stick. BMI's over 8% are not allowed.
Scoring System
Winner 7 points for a touchdown, 3 for a field goal, 2 for a safety.
Goals are all worth 1. Even when you score them on yourself.
Grown men wear jerseys and are often caught crying when their team loses.
Winner Calling it a religion is not fair to religions. Fútbol fans live and die on every kick.
Winner Plays are short, but they move fast and they hit hard.
It's not called the beautiful game for nothing. The two 45 minute halves will not be interrupted by anything, especially not commercials.

The Winner Is

St. Louis Rams Training Camp
Winner Football
4 out of 5

We all enjoy the Fútbol once every four years, but come on, Americans are in love with Football. It's really not even a contest.


  1. MINNEAPOLIS, MN - OCTOBER 9: Quarterback Brock Osweiler #17 of the Houston Texans drops back to pass during the first quarter of the game on October 9, 2016 at US Bank Stadium in Minneapolis, Minnesota. (Photo by Hannah Foslien/Getty Images) SAN DIEGO, CA - OCTOBER 13:  Trevor Siemian #13 of the Denver Broncos warms up before the game against the San Diego Chargers at Qualcomm Stadium on October 13, 2016 in San Diego, California.  (Photo by Harry How/Getty Images)
    Week 7 Tale Of The Tape: Houston Texans At Denver Broncos

    The Broncos square off against their former QB as they welcome in Brock Osweiler and the Texans.

  2. SEATTLE, WA - OCTOBER 16:  Quarterback Russell Wilson #3 of the Seattle Seahawks passes against the Atlanta Falcons at CenturyLink Field on October 16, 2016 in Seattle, Washington.  (Photo by Jonathan Ferrey/Getty Images) GLENDALE, AZ - OCTOBER 17:  Quarterback Carson Palmer #3 of the Arizona Cardinals looks to make a pass against the New York Jets in the first half of the NFL game at University of Phoenix Stadium on October 17, 2016 in Glendale, Arizona.  (Photo by Norm Hall/Getty Images)
    Week 7 Tale Of The Tape: Seattle Seahawks At Arizona Cardinals

    The Seahawks face their NFC West foe on the road as the Cardinals look to get above .500 for the first time this season.

  3. FOXBORO, MA - OCTOBER 16:  Tom Brady #12 of the New England Patriots prepares to receive a snap during the game against the Cincinnati Bengals at Gillette Stadium on October 16, 2016 in Foxboro, Massachusetts.  (Photo by Jim Rogash/Getty Images) PHILADELPHIA, PA - SEPTEMBER 25:  Quarterback  Landry Jones #3 of the Pittsburgh Steelers throws a pass during warm ups before playing against the Philadelphia Eagles at Lincoln Financial Field on September 25, 2016 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.  (Photo by Rich Schultz/Getty Images)
    Week 7 Tale Of The Tape: New England Patriots At Pittsburgh Steelers

    The Patriots are riding high and now face a Steelers team who will be without their starting QB.

See All Tales of the Tape

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