TALE OF THE TAPE

More Impressive Stats? Denver Broncos Offense Vs. Playing Madden On “Easy”

The Denver Broncos, led by aging super-legend Peyton Manning, are putting up a season that’s not only surprisingly successful, but on pace to break some crazy impressive records. But how do the 2013 Broncos measure up against when I play Madden on easy? Let’s go to the tape.

Broncos Offense
Madden on "Easy"
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QB Stats Through Week 4?
Winner 1,470 yards, 16 TDs, 0 interceptions, 75% completion rate. Extrapolate this out and we get...5,880 yards and 64 touchdowns. Holy cow.
1,513 passing yards, 13 passing touchdowns, 312 rushing yards, 7 rushing touchdowns, but also totally and 100% fake.
Does This Team Even Make Sense?
Peyton Manning and Wes Welker in Denver? Travel back to 2010 and see if that makes sense. Also, please sell us the secret of time travel.
Winner Last time I played, I moved Aaron Rodgers, Larry Fitzgerald, Jimmy Graham and Adrian Peterson down to Mexico City to juego on the Mexico City Callaberos. So, no.
Best Case Scenario?
Winner If Manning can pull off a Super Bowl after severe neck surgery at 37, he’ll be padding the stats of a career that’s already arguably the best of all time.
Well, one time, I won the Super Bowl with a Vinny Testaverde-led Lions team on a 4th and Goal in the 4th quarter with 0:03 left on the clock. So probably that.
Worst Case Scenario?
The Broncos have a historical season, make it to the AFC Championship, then drop it at the last second to the New England Patriots in gut-wrenching fashion. To be perfectly clear, I’m a New England Patriots fan and this scenario is making me heartsick and sad.
Winner Hit the reset button?
Closest Comparison?
Winner 2007 Patriots. And, potentially, the completely insufferable - no, you know what? I hate them so much that I can’t even write their name. Just know that they’re named after a porpoise and they played in the early 70s.
Probably the Tecmo Super Bowl-era Bo Jackson.
Preseason Likelihood Of Success?
With a 37 year old Manning? Reasonable, at best.
Winner Good as any other. Besides, I could always knock down the difficulty if Darrelle Revis keeps picking me off.
Impressive?
Winner TOTALLY.
No.

The Winner Is

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Winner Broncos Offense
4 out of 7

In a close battle, the real-life Broncos beat out the video game franchise 4-3! Now let’s see if the Ponies can keep it up the rest of the season.

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