As presented on The Alan Stock Show on the eve of Inauguration Day 2017, here’s the poem Alan read today:
‘Twas the night before Inauguration, and up in the tower,
The Donald reflected on his newfound power.
Conservatives in farm lands had come out in force
And delivered a victory that would chart a new course.
The snowflakes were shell-shocked with tears in their eyes.
The Electoral College . . . What a surprise!
They had been promised a Hillary win,
But the criminal had bleached herself in.
Though along the Blue Wall celebrities sang,
They made no impression — all bucks but no bang.
They talked about climate, racism, and such.
They sang for their groupies . . . but didn’t sway much.
The fake news and ignorance came at a cost.
They still can’t grasp all the reasons they lost.
They blame it on Comey and Fox News and Vlad,
But fail to acknowledge the one that was bad.
Yes, Hillary Clinton, a crook and a cheat,
with her emails of yoga got herself beat.
The campaign exposed her corruptness and greed,
And her $225,000 speeches helped crush her lead.
Was it a Nigerian leader, a spammer or jester
Whose phishing hooked the mouse of John Podester?
CNN and Brazile soon were caught cahootin’
To steal an election (just like Vladi Putin).
So out in the streets there arose such a clatter,
Soros-paid loudmouths shouting “Black Lives Matter.”
With cities to pillage and windows to smash,
They knew not the issues, but needed the cash.
Eight years of Obama had given them cause
To expect years of more freebies from Dems’ Santa Claus.
And now all the snowflakes are riddled with fear:
No more cocoa or crayons covered on Obamacare.
Trump dismayed many because of his manner.
Rudeness and boorish go bad with a tanner.
But he speaks about energy, safety, and jobs,
Restoring our country from a cohort of snobs.
He thanked all his voters, and before he was gone,
Saved thousands of jobs while Obama golfed on.
Aware of the mess, leaving nothing to chance,
He filled out his cabinet weeks in advance.
The ones he had chosen were of the same stripe.
Let’s set the bar high, and let’s lead without hype.
He picked up his phone as he rose from his seat;
With a flick of his finger, he sent out this tweet:
“Now Mad Dog! Now DeVos!’ Now Sessions! And Pruitt!
On Perry! On Price! You’re the ones who must do it.
Start lifting restrictions and building the wall.
Repeal and Replace! School vouchers for all!
As he jumped in his limo and off to his jet,
Even as Soros had just lost a 1 Billion bet,
He sent one more tweet as the night expired:
“Happy Inauguration to all,
AND OBAMA – YOU’RE FIRED!”